This is my post for the beginning of the New Year (which, I’ve missed by like a few days or whatever, I know I know).
So, Happy New Year, babes, and buckle in for a longer post.
Often in life, I feel like I’m here to tell people how it is. And by it, I mean life. But I’m only 24, so like, wtf, you know? Maybe it’s because I’m a Virgo and the alignment of the stars and planets all made me this way. Or maybe it’s because I overthink so much I give myself anxiety. The answer is still unclear. But I’m having a very Virgo moment RN and feel like it’s a good time to reach out to you.
For me, I’m in a good place. It took me a year or so to get it all together mentally and emotionally. Maybe it was from all the moving around city/school/job wise that made it hard.
This past year, 2017, was by far the hardest, most challenging year I’ve lived through. What’s even crazier is that someone had already told me it would be before it happened, so I knew the whole time. What I didn’t know was some of the things that would occur during that time, and how they would affect me. I’m still understanding how a lot of affected me- you know like, the water is really murky when you’re in it, but you step out and it’s crystal clear.
Anyway, all that is to say, I feel like this whole last year has led me to this exact moment, right now, here, where I’m sitting in my room in Houston in a not-very-comfortable chair, writing to you at 1am. Like, hey, here I am, if you were wondering who is out there thinking about you this late at night. It’s me, and I have so many thoughts for you and you’re far from alone, even if you physically are.
Sometimes, life has this interesting way of telling you things. My favorite one, and this probably only applies to me personally, is when the song “Want You Back” by HAIM comes on in a more or less public place. I hear it and I know I’m exactly where I need to be doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. Like, when it came on today in the Victoria’s Secret dressing room, I knew I needed to buy the three bra’s I was holding immediately. They were the chosen ones by HAIM, or the universe, or just me needing an excuse to do irrational things. But it never fails me, and it really speaks to my soul when it comes on.
SHOP VICTORIA’S SECRET
You know when you have those blips of moments when you feel something stir inside you and it makes you want to do crazy things, like chase dreams, or step out of your comfort zone, or make something happen that you always knew you were capable of but just never took action upon? The past few weeks have been like that for me. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not 100% of the time that I feel like that… but I’ve never felt so moved before.
Wow, and here I am thinking I never beat around the bush, lol. But also, it’s important you know all that first, because then maybe you’ll understand where I’m coming from a little better.
To those of you out there who feel like something, like you were born for something particular, or that you haven’t quite reached your destiny in life yet, or like you’re just not really sure if you can keep pushing forward.. I’m here, probably very far away from you, telling you that your time is coming, and you’re going to accomplish some pretty cool stuff this year. I’m here to let you know that it’s not time to give up yet. And, I don’t know how I know this, but I know it so hard that it physically hurts my chest when I think about it.
Honestly, life is stupid sometimes, but it wouldn’t be fantastic without those stupid moments. When I’m in those moments, I forget how great it can be, and this year I want to focus on remembering that. Because that’s such a simple way to pull through the hard shit. Just to remember the reasons why you’re there, doing exactly what you’re doing and to believe in that. And, really, that’s all. I just wanted you to know that, and maybe this will help you, too.
SHOP THE LOOK (AND OTHER SIMILAR)
actual coat via TwinSet | actual sweater via Express